Scott Summers looked across the lawn of the mansion. He saw Jean and Ororo kneeling on the ground with their hands buried in rich earth, laughing. Jean looked up to the window where Scott stood. She waved and him and he gave a small wave back and turned away from the window.
He glanced at the full-length mirror on the wall and frowned at what he saw. Looking back at him was the perfect all-American male. Neat hair, good clothes, everything TV and magazines tried to pass off as the perfect ideal. Well, except for the glasses that held back his optic blasts. What he saw in that mirror was not him. As a kid he had been quiet. He hadn’t wanted to get hit when he was in the foster homes or the orphanage, so he stayed to himself, but inside he had been cynical, sarcastic, and more then a little bit envious of the kids who dared to rebel. He always figured that if he hadn’t been so skinny and small he would have been just like those kids. Listening to the ‘devil’s music’, smoking on the street corners, and skipping school.
He had, had a taste of that life during the short time he had been alone on the streets. Then his powers had emerged and it was difficult to be a rebel when you had to keep your eyes tightly closed. Then Jack Diamond had found him. Fitted him with glasses that blocked his powers but any sign of rebellion was quickly halted by fists and feet if he was lucky, belts and anything else handy if he wasn’t.
Then had come Charles Xavier. He was too grateful for the man for taking him away from Jack that he never thought about rebelling. Well, that and the worry that Charles would end up being just like Jack. By the time he had become comfortable in the mansion he had people depending on him. He had some how become the leader of the X-men. It was not what he wanted, but Charles expected it of him and he owed Charles.
He glanced back out the window at Jean. He waited for the love that he used to feel for her to fill his heart, but nothing came to him. He wondered if that feeling of love had even been real. The two of them had been growing apart for quite sometime. At first he didn’t notice the distance but even a few members of the team had been asking if they were fighting again.
Charles had been pleased when Scott had finally opened up to Jean. His two perfect children, together. There were times when Scott wondered if he had married Jean to try and please his mentor.
Scott was tired. He was tired of the lies, tired of being someone he wasn’t. The problem was, he didn’t know who he was. He had lost himself somewhere down the line, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to find himself at the mansion.
He sat down at the small desk in his bedroom and opened the laptop and started typing. Once he was done he printed his work and walked to his closet. He pulled out his motorcycle saddlebags and filled them with two pairs of jeans, five t-shirts, five button up flannel shirts, six pairs of underwear and socks. He went to the bathroom and grabbed his toiletry kit, sleeping goggles, an extra pair of glasses, and his visor. He added the items to the bags and zipped it up. He shucked the clothes he was wearing. He donned a pair of black leather motercycle pants and a black t-shirt. He put on his combat boots and grabbed his black leather jacket. He slung the pack over his shoulder and grabbed the paper he had printed.
He turned down the hallway and headed towards Charles’ office. He knocked on the door and waited for the invitation to enter. He entered the office and walked to Charles’ desk, Charles never looked up from the paperwork on his desk. Scott placed the paper he had printed on top of Charles’ paperwork. Charles looked up and his eyes widened when he saw how Scott was dressed.
“What’s this?” Charles asked.
Scott motioned to the paper. Charles read the two paragraphs and looked up in surprise. “What is this all about, Scott? Now is not the time for a leave of absence.”
“Sir, I can’t be an effective leader. I’m tired, it’s only a matter of time before I make a horrible mistake and get the team killed.”
“So use these few days while the jet is being repaired to sleep and rest. Leave everything else to the rest of the team.”
Scott shook his head. “No, Sir. It’s not just that. I’m numb. I can’t feel anything, I don’t know who I am anymore. All I know, is that I’m not me. I’ve been trying to be you, and I can’t do that anymore. I’ve been lying to myself and to everyone here. I need to take time to find myself, and I can’t do that here. I know who Cyclops is, but I don’t know who Scott is. I need to find Scott. Either you agree to my leave or I’m resigning. It’s your choice, Sir. I’m leaving today, it’s up to you if I come back.” He knew that Charles hated ultimatums but he needed the time.
“Fine. Take as long as you need. What are you going to tell the team?”
“Nothing. They’ll try to stop me. I’m planning on just sneaking out.”
“Do you think that is wise, Scott?”
Scott shrugged. “I really don’t care. I’ll check in with you in three weeks. So that you don’t worry about me and send the Calvary after me.”
“What about Jean?”
“What about Jean, Sir?”
“What do you want me to tell her?”
Scott gave a small smile. “I think she’ll have a few things to tell you, Sir. Later.” Scott turned on his heel and left the office. He quickly made his way down to the garage and settled the bags on his motorcycle. He quickly found his backpack with his reflective vest for riding at night and a supply of food and water. He settled the bag on his back and straddled the bike. He put on his helmet and started the machine. He gave one last look around the garage before speeding off.
******
The X-Men gathered in the briefing room at the call from Charles. They sat around the table and waited for Charles and Scott. It wasn’t long before Charles rolled into the room. He stopped his wheelchair at the head of the table.
“Everyone’s here. Good. Let’s begin.”
“Not everyone, Chuck. Where’s Cyke?” Logan asked looking at the empty chair.
“That is what we are hear to discuss. We need to choose a new leader for the X-Men. Scott has asked for a leave of absence.”
“Dat don’ sound like Fearless,” Remy Lebeau said. He looked over at Jean who didn’t look surprised or upset. “What’s dis about, Chere?”
Jean was silent for a few moments.
“Jeannie?” Logan enquired.
“I knew he was planning this. I just didn’t know when,” she finally said.
“Why?”
“He needs to find himself. He’s been losing Scott to Cyclops. He needs to find Scott again. I encouraged him to do this. We’ve been talking a lot lately. About what we want and don’t want. We came to a decision.” She fell silent. Bobby could not longer take the quiet. “What decision?”
Jean opened the folder in front of her and slid it to the middle of the table. Everyone looked at it and Ororo finally took the folder and read the contents.
“Divorce? You and Scott are getting a divorce?”
Jean looked at the shocked faces around her. She gave a sad smile. “Yes. We have gotten a divorce. I suppose I should have expected him to do this today. The divorce was finalized yesterday. I am now the former Mrs. Scott Summers.”
“Why? Why would you and Scott get a divorce? You both seemed so happy together,” Hank said.
“Yes, seemed. We haven’t been truly happy for a while. We didn’t even notice it at first. It all came out during one of our talks. He asked me who he was and I couldn’t answer him. We talked it over and we both decided that he needed to do this.” Xavier turned to Jean. “You knew he was planning this,” he said in a low voice. His eyes narrowing.
“I not only knew, I helped him. He has to do this, other wise we will loose him for good. I didn’t want that to happen. He might not be my husband anymore, but he is my friend, and I can’t stand by and watch a friend suffer.”
“We will discuss this later.” Xavier turned his attention to the rest of the team. “For now, Storm, you are the leader. I’ll leave it to the rest of you to figure out where to go from here.” He rolled his chair away from the table. He looked at Jean.
Come to my office after the meeting. We have much to discuss. Xavier sent the thought to Jean.
The rest of the meeting quickly passed and everyone went their separate ways except for Logan and Remy. They sat at the table, staring at the divorce papers.
“How did we miss dis, homme? We shoulda seen dis,” Remy said quietly.
“I don’t know, Gumbo, but what I do know is that we can’t leave Scotty all to himself out there,” Logan growled.
Remy winced. “Can you jus’ imagine the trouble Cyke would get into?”
“It wouldn’t be Cyke. It’d be Scott, and I don’t know what kinda messes he’d get into. I just don’t know enough about Scott’s life before he got here to know what he would do.”
“Well regardless, we still gotta follow ‘im.”
“You got an idea on how to do that?”
“Uh, yeah. See, I wasn’t plannin’ on ‘im taking off like dis, so I kinda planned a bit of a practical joke. I kinda messed with his bike. It’s nothin’ that’ll do damage, but he’s gonna ‘ave t’ replace a specific part on his bike and it ain’ a part that you can go to the local bike shop and pick up. We got a lot of that part here, so I didn’t think much about it, but there’s only one company that makes that part, and he’s gonna have to hold up and wait for the part to come to him.”
“And you can hack into the company’s computers and track where the part is going.”
“Exactly.”
******
Jean walked out of the meeting with a heavy heart. She knew that what Scott had done was for the best, but she wasn’t sure if the rest of the team saw it quite the same way. Well, she knew Logan and Remy understood it. She thought that perhaps they knew what Scott was going through more then anyone else on the team.
She reached her thoughts out to brush against Logan’s. He and Remy were doing just what she hoped they would, planning to follow Scott. She breathed a sigh of relief. Scott needed this, but he couldn’t do it on his own. He had been Cyclops for too long and she doubted that he could release that part of him easily. He needed help, and those two would be perfect.
She wasn’t looking forward to dealing with Charles. She knew that he was disappointed in her for not stopping Scott when he decided to leave. She turned down the hall that lead to Charles’ office when her cell phone rang. She looked at the display and answered the phone.
“Scott!”
“Is everything okay, Jean?”
Jean sighed and leaned against the wall. “I don’t know, Scott. We just had a team meeting and the team is in shock over your leaving and our divorce, Charles has ordered me to his office, and I’m pretty sure that I’m about to get my ass chewed out.”
“Damn him!”
“It’ll be okay, Scott. I know this is right and he’s not going to get me to tell him anything. I promise.
“Thank you. I’m just sorry you have to take the heat for this.”
“I’m not exactly thrilled about it either, but I do what I can to help the people I love, and I love you.”
“I love you too, Jean. So, how did the team react? I’m sure Logan and Remy were ecstatic with the news that I wasn’t going to be riding their asses anymore.”
“I wouldn’t bet on that if I was you. They seemed pretty shocked and upset. I think they like you more then you think they do. The rest of team doesn’t know how to react. They had no idea what you were going through.”
“Well, how could they? I didn’t even know what I was going through.” Jean smiled at the exasperated tone of Scott’s voice.
“They feel like they should have though. Especially Hank, Bobby, and Warren.”
Scott snorted in derision. “Please, they have even less idea of who the real me is then I do.”
Jean lowered her voice. “Please be careful out there, Scott. We need you here. Not Cyclops, you. Everyone loves you, here.”
“I will, Jean. You have my word. Now, go beard Charles in his lair and I’ll talk to you later. I told him I’d contact him in three weeks, but you’ll hear from me a lot sooner.”
“Bye, Scott.”
“Bye.”
Jean pressed the end button and closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears. As much as Scott tried to sound normal, she could hear the worry and fear in his voice. Scott never faced the unknown easily. He liked control and right now he wasn’t even in control of himself.
She took a deep breath and straightened up away from the wall where she was leaning. She knew Charles was waiting for her and she might as well get this over with. She knew that for the first time since she joined the X-Men, Charles was going to be disappointed in her. She frowned for a moment. She always thought that if she ever truly disappointed her mentor, she would be full of guilt and shame, but there was none of that. She knew what she had done was right, and nothing Charles could say or do would change that.
She threw back her shoulders and stiffened her spine. Charles wasn’t going to make her cower. She strode to his office door and knocked briskly.
“Come in, Jean.”
She gave a sardonic smile and entered Charles’ office.
******
Logan left Remy to find a way to hack into the motorcycle parts company’s website. He headed for his room to pack the gear that he was going to take with him. He figured that Scott would probably stay away from the cities for now. He had spent to much time in them as a kid and that hadn’t helped him find himself, so Logan figured that the ever logical Scott would head for the great outdoors.
He had offered to pack for Remy as well, but Remy said that he was already packed. Logan had looked at Remy in surprise.
“I always keep m’ important stuff packed. Never know when y’ gotta make a quick getaway.”
Logan had to admit that it made sense. The school always lived in fear of the government suddenly deciding to make a raid on it. He himself also kept a small emergency bag packed, but with the distance that they would more then likely be traveling with Scott, he wanted a larger bag. He quickly packed the clothes and equipment he planned on taking and stashed it in his closet.
He headed down to the garage to check over there bikes. He quickly fixed the minor problems and looked over their riding gear. He mended the few rips and tears he found. There wasn’t really anything left for him to do, so he decided to see how Remy was coming along.
********
Remy punched in the last few commands and waited to see the results. He knew it was too soon for there to be an order from Scott, but he wanted to be notified the minute there was one. He sighed and brushed his hair out of his eyes. It was a good thing that Scott wasn’t standing in front of him right at that moment. He would love nothing more then to knock the leader of the X-Men onto his ass. How dare the man take off without even a simple goodbye!
“It’s all set up. All we gotta do is wait for ‘im to order de part and we got ‘im.”
“Good. Now the question is, what do we do with him once we got him.”
“This might help with that.” Both men jumped at the sound of Jean’s voice. They turned to look at the woman standing in the doorway. She grinned at them and held out a file. “This is Charles’ file on Scott. You both need to read it so that you can understand where he’s coming from and why he reacts the way he does. And this,” she held up a piece of paper, “is where he’s headed. He’s taking the back roads so you can take the straight shot and get there before him. It’s also about the distance that one piece of equipment can go before it breaks.”
She set the folder and paper on the desk and turned to go. She was stopped by Logan’s hand wrapping around her wrist. “Why are you doin’ this, darlin’?”
She looked into his eyes for a moment. “I’m doing this because I still love him. He is my best friend and he’s like a brother to me. I want… I need him to be happy. I need him to know who he is and the two of you are the best people who can help him with that. Charles won’t help him, he’ll just try to mold him into his perfect little soldier again.” She gave a small humorless laugh. “Charles thinks he loves Scott. He doesn’t. He loves the image of Scott. He loves the little tin-soldier he created when Scott was as his most vulnerable. He loves Cyclops.
“The two of you are the best choice for this. You don’t like Cyclops, but the little hints of Scott that you’ve seen you like. He needs you, he needs your help and he doesn’t know it, but I do. That’s why I’m doing this.”
Logan relaxed his grip on her wrist and trailed his hand down to hers. He held her hand in a loose hold. “Thank you, Jeanie.”
She smiled at him and then turned her gaze on Remy and gave him a smile as well. “Help him. That’s all the thanks I need.” She pulled her hand out of Logan’s and left.
Logan looked over at the file on the desk. He picked it up and thumbed through it. “This looks like something you’d do a better job of understanding then me.” He carefully tossed it to Remy.
TBC