A Very Merry Unbirthday

"Come on, Gumbo, how can I plan a party if I don't know the date?" Jubilee's whine made Logan wince. Remy looked unimpressed when he looked up from one of Hank's textbooks.

"Y' don't. Don't want a party. Don't need a party. Y' tend t' Logan and leave me be."

She's struck a nerve. Logan's ears nearly pricked. His nose twitched. Yeah, the kid was upset alright. His scent was full of anger and pain. It didn't show on his face and Jubes didn't know how to read the variations in his speech yet. If it had been nothing the "me" would have been "po' Remy" instead.

"But, Remy." She pouted.

"Non, Jubilation Lee."

That shut her up. Remy never used anyone's full name unless he was upset. He glared at her for a full minute, then returned to the Biochemistry text. Jubilee shot Logan a pleading look. He sighed. As her father, he supposed he had to soothe the Cajun's feathers.

"Hank quizzin' ya?" Logan asked to break the silence.

Remy sighed. "Don't never ask that man an idle question. Sapriste! He gives homework."

Jubilee sank down on the couch next to Logan. Her eyes bounced between them. She was confused and hurt, his nose said. And embarrassed. Remy didn't treat her like a kid usually. "Whatcha ask?" She offered quietly.

"Asked a question 'bout how Scott converts solar energy int' his blasts. Turns out ole Remy needs t' know more 'bout organic chemistry afore the explanation makes sense."

Jubilee raised her brows. "Scott converts solar energy?"

"That's why he wears long sleeve shirts in the summer," Logan explained.

"And how did you find that out?"

Logan snorted. "He passed out from heat workin' on his roses. I bitched at him fer wearing long sleeves. He snapped back at me."

"Wonder if Hankster's got that on tape. It'd be fun to watch." Logan went for Jubilee's ribs with wiggling fingers. She screeched in laughter. "Uncle! Uncle!"

Remy smirked at her. "Piece of advice, y' plannin' on embarassin' Logan y' best stay acrost the room."

There, Logan thought, all better. Both of the kids smelled happy now. "How'd you find out, Rems?"

"Knew before I joined up. Remy's jus' a font of knowledge. Also, mebbe slept wit' Raven when she was wit' the Pentagon."

"Shit, Cajun." Jubilee stared at him.

Logan studied him. Distracting from something, he assessed. None of his business though. Gambit dealt in intelligence almost exclusively these days. "Ya ever said that t' Rogue's face?"

Remy paled. "I'd prefer my teet' stay in m' mouth if'n y' don't mind."

Jubilee looked between them. "Rogue has to know you're a slut. Why would this Pentagon chick freak her out?"

"Raven adopted Rogue. Wouldn't mind if both y' f'got I said it."

Jubilee frowned "I'll forget it if I get to plan a party for you."

"Dieu, Logan, y' raised a merc."

"Yeah? You were raisin' Ro to be thief."

Remy stared at Jubilee with narrowed eyes. "How 'bout lock-pickin' lessons?"

"Learned locksmithing in school."

"Security wiring then."

"Deal." She regarded him for along moment. "Why don't you want a party?"

Remy was quiet for so long that Logan was sure he wouldn't answer. Jubilee had been quiet just as long. That was disturbing. "Don't like parties. Make m' t'ink of home," he said quietly. "'Sides, don't got a birthday me."

Jubilee blinked. "Everyone has a birthday."

"Ain't got a real birt' certificate neither. Jus' the adoption day one mon pere had made." He shrugged. "And I ain't celebratin' that wit'out mon pere. D'accord?"

"Right. Got it." Jubilee nodded. "How about an unbirthday party?"

"Christ, chere!"


"No hats. No noisemakers. No presents. No streamers. No confetti. No stupid games."

"Right. And plenty of alcohol." She danced around the room, then out the door.

Remy stared after her. He turned to Logan. "Here tell Ritalin helps wit' hyper-activity. Might y' could talk t' Henri."

Logan snorted. "Just be glad she ain't had caffeine t'day, bub."


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